Today I am 64 years old. I started this blog with the intention to renew myself, revive myself, do something with myself. Gosh, I’m not sure what that was suppose to look like. I’m grateful, of course, for seeing another birthday. Whatever plans I have for this day will be spent with my husband, seeing FaceBook post of folks posting “Happy Birthday” and having a glass of wine, or two, or three. I am grateful for the good, the bad and ugly parts of my life, and I am forever working on being a good person in this world. And right now, the world really is making me work overtime!
I am constantly working on me, whether that is weight loss, exercise, reading more, praying more, being available more, keeping all my doctor appointments, going to the dentist more, finding ways to increase my income more, etc. There seems to be always something. Can I tell you that I’m just a little bit tired? Just a tad. This thing that is always in front of you that tells you, you must be everything that you can, you must achieve to your greatest potential, you must be successful, you must, you must, you must show the world and of course yourself that you are the absolute best version of yourself. Y’all, can I tell you, my mind and body is asking, “can we please just give it a rest?!” All my life my mind has been racing to do well, fit in, and show them what you got. Even as I age, I continue to fight to be seen, heard, recognized, admired, loved, and be financially stable for the big 66 ½. Waiting on social security, which I praying will still be around in another two years and knowing, this will not be enough to truly live on. Yeah, I know this sounds likes a really depressing blog. It is not.
I am grateful for my husband and daughter. I am grateful for the congregation I pastor and I am grateful for God’s love. I am grateful to celebrate 64 years on this earth, crying, rejoicing, running, walking, eating, and having my mind race through all that this world demands of me. I am grateful. But today, I’m not giving into life’s demands. Today, the best version of myself is to rest in the chaos.
Happy 64th Birthday You!
Be Well My Friends, Rev. JacquiP