Trust. I hear my breath which is rather loud. Anxiety comes. I am trusting that I can do what I set out to accomplish. I am trusting myself. Some days though, it’s hard. I trust myself to move in spaces that don’t want me there. I trust myself to speak when I know there are some who really would rather not hear me. I trust myself to dress in a way that is creative and fly, knowing someone will definitely stare, and point, and laugh.
Breathing hard again, closing my eyes, hearing that voice in my head.
I have been so busy working in my doctor of ministry program and now the new pastor of a small historic church! Yes, it is quite a lot of work, but I love it! I haven’t blogged for a long time, so here I am, trying to get back into the swing of things. Not sure even where to begin, but here I am. I must say, when we put out in the universe our dreams and hopes, and believe that we are worthy of receiving the very things we ask for, abundance pours from every direction.
The amazing Sheryl Lee Ralph, reminded me of so many wonderful blessings as I listened to her acceptance speech, winning the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy in television series, “Abbott Elementary. Ms. Ralph reminded all of us who find ourselves an “endangered species” that our voice matters and that we are not to sing a victim song. We belong! I cried last night, listening to her acceptance speech, thinking about all that I have hoped and work for, now coming into fruition.
Here I am! Beautiful, courageous and ageless. Here I am! Intelligent, compassionate and witty. Here I am! And I am good! Never give up! Know matter if you had a set back, no matter where you are in your life or what age you are in your life, never give up! Work on your gift, your purpose, because it is not for you! It is for others to see that they can, along with you, make this planet a better place to live!
The Dance of the Dissident Daughter A Woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine is bold and pleasantly frightening. Sue Monk Kidd questioning her spiritual journey and wondering if her Christian faith actually recognizes her womanhood and speaks to her directly, is a question I believe many women have asked, including myself, and what is so surprising is this memoir written over 25 years ago, is still very relevant today. Sue Kid Monk’s tenacity to deal with the question is one of bravery and begins the process to heal what she calls, “feminine wounds.”
In all honesty, reading this book was difficult because it tugged in those neglected spaces women usually just settle for, and at the same time, there is liberation taking place. Kidd gently forces women to truly focus on what roles they play in their faith journey and reminds us not to just accept the status quo as is, but that it is quite alright to search for a place that includes you and includes your worth. This book is for women who are ready to heal wounds caused by a Christian faith tradition that has stifled the voices of the feminine sacred divine. This book is for women who are searching for a rebirth in becoming who their authentic, beautiful and holy selves truly are.
There is a warning though that comes when you begin to open your mind to the The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Don’t be surprised as you read Kidd’s memoir, that you soon remember a moment when listening to a sermon you didn’t agree with and secretly screamed out loud but kept the facade of a smile on your face to show your loyalty, or when participating in a women’s conference that somehow managed to include Adam’s rib into their description of women, and yet you kept that silly grin on your face, that you as well have participated in patriarch oppressive systems. You will come to the realization that you too might be ready to start a faith journey you can claim your own, but be further warned, with that comes labor pains that may take longer than expected, but the stretch marks will soon tell the story of a journey worth taking.
There are so many things we are trying to accomplish. For some of us, making up the bed in the morning is a big accomplishment, along with getting the household ready, up and off to work and/or school, which is probably located in a room down the hallway of our home that has become the sole place of our existence. Whew! Here we are, 2022!
My daughter asked me if I had anything new plans or challenges I wanted to do this year, any new goals I wanted to go for. Really? My answer was no. All I’m trying to do is do the best I can. I’m not trying to run a marathon, or accomplish something so absolutely spectacular that I would have to pinch myself to see if it’s really me that is doing all this amazing stuff! Sorry. Nope, not a new thing. Of course for those who are raring to go in this new year and shoot for the stars, I say hooray!! I know you will succeed and I will be there to pinch you and say, yes, you did that!!
So for those like me, who maybe moving a little slower these days, not because of age, but because we choose to do so, know that you are doing enough and you are doing life well. Please give yourself some grace and move when you are ready. We have all been through a great deal of trauma and just maybe, 2022, is the lazy year we need.