Doubt

How often do you self-sabotage? How many times do you doubt your abilities? I can’t count the number of times I’ve doubted my abilities. It’s been many and even as I’m writing this blog, I’m doubting myself writing this right now. Geez!!!!

That word has caused a lot of us to throw in the towel and just give up. It’s a freaking five letter word that seems to have some type of power! I don’t like it’s feeling when it makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing or not, believe in the right thing or not, eating the right thing or not, living the right way or not, learning the right thing or not, oh my goodness, this word just gets on my nerve! Can you go anywhere without it always rearing it’s ugly head? People usually don’t talk about weak moments in their lives. We all want to look like we have it together, don’t we? It is important to us how people see us, what they say about us, if we will be accepted. But doubt creeps in and can cause us to second guess ourselves and put us on this downward spiral of trying to climb out before we are caught by our make believe admirers. Well, guess what? Everyone has doubts! Everyone! So why is it that we feel so guilty when doubt shows up if everyone is affected by it? Why is it that we are told never say that we doubt something? I know, we are never supposed to doubt God. Or ourselves. I don’t know about that.

Thomas, a disciple of Jesus, doubted that Jesus was resurrected. Folks call him “Doubting Thomas”. Thomas wasn’t being disrespectful. He was asking questions that many of us would ask. Really Jesus? You mean to tell me it’s really you, back from the dead? When Thomas didn’t believe and began to question his doubt, Jesus showed up. Even with Thomas doubting, Jesus showed up. And even in Thomas doubt, Jesus showed himself to Thomas and said let me prove to you that I’m alive! Of course we will immediately go to the statement that Jesus made… “blessed are those who have not seen but yet believe.” Yeah, so you gonna have the perfect ones. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Thomas continued on his path, probably still having questions, but Thomas continued on his path and I believe God’s presence was still there with Thomas.

We will doubt. We will question those things that are even good for us. We will doubt that we are good enough, we will doubt our talents, we will doubt even God at times. This is the thing…. Even in the doubt, God is there, even in the doubt, God shows up. So this five letter word may hang around, but we continue on our path. We continue on the path with our questions, continue in our fragility, continue on the path with our doubts…..God shows up anyhow.

Yep, still doubting about this blog….but continuing on my path..… Be Bless!

Rev Jacqui