Waiting until….

Not sure where to start here! I have not found anything I wanted to write about. Just crazy! There are so many things to talk about but I’m struggling as to where I begin. This is hard. Trying to maintain some sense of stability, some sense of hope, some since of pretending to be absolutely okay with this world right now is absolutely freaking hard.

I imagine myself sitting in front of my laptop typing away. The image is so relaxing. There is a vase of flowers sitting on my desk and a wine glass full of sauvignon blanc (because white wine is what you drink when you’re attempting to be creative… I think). The light coming from the window is just perfect with a shadow that strikes the keyboard perfectly. There is even a candle with the scent of lavender that helps me maintain this blissful tranquil scene. I’m waiting!!! Why are my fingers not moving?

Overwhelmed, underwhelmed. The moment is stagnant. It’s like sitting in the middle of busy street, hearing shouts to get the hell out of the street, yet not moving, expecting someone will grab and save you or someone will just decide to let you be until disaster happens. Disaster happened! My brain registers! Disaster around you happened! Disaster around you is still happening! Yeah! But I’m so damn tired of it. I know! Look at the good things, the wonderful and amazing things that surround you….love ones, trees, oceans, skies, children playing. Find the good!

So, I imagine myself sitting in front of my laptop typing away. Oh wait… nope. I’m still stagnant. I will rise soon. I know I will. I will smell the scent of lavender. I’m waiting.