I Met God in My Mama’s Kitchen

I started to write about meeting God in my Mama’s kitchen back in October of 2023. I wrote the titled and walked away from my laptop. I don’t know why I walked away, but I’m pretty sure its because my attention went to something else. My mind scatters. I guess you can call it adult ADHD or maybe a lack of discipline.

I think the conversation started one Sunday after church when I realized that the sermon preached that morning was about meeting God in the sanctuary, or the presence of God meets us in the sanctuary, or something like that, and of course, I was the one preaching the sermon. Yes! God does have a sense of humor. The after church crew talked about the old parishioners of the church who they heard singing gospel songs, not in the church, but in their homes. The women sang in the kitchen while cooking and there would be an outburst of praise. In the kitchen is where the Spirit and the fragrance of good cooking, were stirred up together and you could not help but be nourished both physically and spiritually.

I came home and it dawned on me, I did not meet God in the church. I met God in my mama’s kitchen. I met God hearing her singing spirituals while cooking eggs and grits for breakfast. I met God while she mixed together ingredients to make the best sour creme pound cake I ever had. I met God making coffee and putting enough sugar and milk in a small cup, which she places in front of me, to make me feel like a grown up while she slurped her coffee by my side. I met God in my mama’s kitchen, while she looked in the cupboards to figure out how she can stretch a meal until the monthly food stamps arrived. In my mama’s kitchen, I heard prayers, asking for help, in an always strong and authoritative voice crying out to God to make a way out of no way.

She always showed up in mama’s kitchen, with the warmth of a sweet potato pie and the softness of a hot butter roll. She greeted me after school with my favorite, a bologna sandwich on Sunbeam white bread. In my mama’s kitchen – this is where I met God.

It is in our relationships where God is always present. Not in a building, or a ritual, or even just a worship service. God is present in every facet of our lives, not in some miraculously way, but in the most simplistic ways, such as in the preparation of a meal.

May you experience the love of God in your life this New Year, 2024! May you find your voice and hold on to it. Be Well!!!

Rev. JacquiP

Rough Patch

Not sure where to begin. All I know is that the past few months have seriously taken a toll on my mind, body and soul. I keep hearing the words of the old church ladies, “Be grateful. Someone has it worse than you.” Quite honestly, I don’t think that makes me feel any better or makes me any more or less grateful.

There are seasons that show up in our lives unexpectedly. Seasons that we can’t control. When those moments come, and I do mean moments, but the moments feel like a lifetime, all we can do is settle in, feel the heaviness, meditate, pray, cry, talk through it, and settle in a little bit more. These seasons make for bumpy rides due to uneven roads with many small pebbles and often thick weeds that make it even tougher to move. But move anyhow.

This kind of season makes for slow walks. This kind of season demands gentle care on the spirit. This kind of season requires rest and compassion for the weary soul.

So I settle in, breathing through the rough patch and waiting, knowing that this season will break. I hold on.

Be Well My Friends,

Rev. JacquiP

I can’t fix you…

I have family members and friends I would love to fix. What I mean is, I wish I could wave some kind of magical wand that would create an automatic fix over the pain, confusion, that I see them struggle with. Not saying I don’t have no worries of my own. But I have learned that life means you have to accept some things, even when you don’t really want to. You have to accept your failures. You have to accept that the person you love might not love you back and you can’t make them love you. You have to accept that life can get messy and your emotions will surprise you. You have to accept that you can’t have everything you want. You have to accept that sometimes the ball does not roll in your court.

We have always told people that they needed to succeed in life. We have told love ones that they must reach for the stars, that they must be the very best they can be, that they need to strive for the gusto, and when they get tired and weary, lost and depressed, we tell them to push on. Then when hard times show up, because hard times will always show up, we watch as they fall apart. We wonder why they can’t get their act together.

I can’t fix my love one into getting up from their broken places. But I can sit with them in that broken place. I can be honest with them, and provide the space allowing them to find their way back. As much as it hurts to watch a love one fall, it hurts more if they are not granted the grace to discover their strength.

I can’t fix you, but I will love you.

Rev. JacquiP

Practice

It has become difficult for me to imagine. Surrounded by the million of sound bites, the eyes only resting when I am asleep. It is difficult for my mind to get clear, to create new ideas. Set in a world that demands of you an indoctrination that is the only way, the only way, so that one does not get any ideas to create a world that might just be better than theirs.

As I laid my body to rest, I practiced my imagination. I practiced visioning new stories to create, building upon the old stories that have embraced me for so long. I laid practicing, over and over, realizing that I could not imagine creating new stories in a world that tells me to hold on to the old ones, because it forces stagnation, yelling at me to remember, to hold on and to take pride in all that the ancestors have done.

I’m holding, I’m remembering, but I wish could remember how to imagine. I wish I could remember the feeling as a child when my imagination seemed so real and the adults in my life took joy in seeing my playful dance, celebrating as I twirled in the open air, with the sun putting a happy glow on my face, being free and accepted, allowing to create, making mud pies, and hearing, “that’s good baby.”

I am remembering how to imagine, I am remembering how to create, trusting to move from the “hold on” to the sound of “that’s good baby.”

Be Well My Friends

Rev JacquiP

The Strength of Our Gathering

Before us. There were those who came before us. They walked in the places we now call “our community.”

They created homes from the depths of their hearts and planted gardens in the depths of the earth that held the soles of their feet.

Their arms were strong. Holding their children, holding their dreams. And their voices were holy to the sounds of a child.

When Women gather, there is a breath, a sound like no other. Listen! It is like a roaring wind that cuddles and whispers, “no need to worry”. Everything will be alright.

Before us. There were those who came before us. They built bridges that connected laughter and joy, peace and hope. And compassion followed wherever they went.

They sang songs and danced. Singing soft, singing loud, whirling! Their spirits are lifted by the Spirit that is Holy.

Their ears were tuned to hearing cries of hopelessness and despair. They followed these sounds, and spread their arms wide, offering comfort, offering a way to wholeness.

When Women gather, there is a passion of protection that holds creation in her hands. She covers the weary and prays strength for the weak.

Before us. There were those who came before us. Creating paths for us to follow. Sharing their stories of joy and pain, touching future lives, that those who gather today, will do the same.

May it be so.

Rev. JacquiP

This Feminine Divine Is Determined!

You keep showing up, pushing and pushing me!

What do you want? What? I can’t do that!

Are you serious? You seriously want me to change the world! So what kool-aid have you been drinking?

What do you want me to do with a world that has become so old that all she wants to do is sit in her rocking chair and complain about every freaking thing?! What? You’re really funny!

What do you want me to say to a world that has spin so much of her axle on the wheels of a patriarchy and white supremacist ideologies, that would make you think that she can change? They have held her hostage since the beginning of creation! Ok, maybe not at the beginning, but you got to admit, they have held her for a pretty long time!

Hey, I’m just trying to get along so I can be left alone in this place! What?

What do you mean I can create?! Create what? There is chaos and destruction, the environment is dying and I’m sleepy, so I don’t understand what you want!!

You want me to breathe? But I am, despite all the fumes, I’m breathing quite well, thank you! What am I breathing? Are you saying my breath stinks?! I don’t have toxic breath!

Am I breathing hope and possibilities of a place I can be proud of? A place for all of her children?

You keep nudging me to produce something better and more loving towards her. She does need a revolutionary kind of power that only we can bring. Okay! You got me!

Now where is my cape?

"She is calling us in this time of women's rights being taken away, climate change having a major impact, banning books from classrooms and libraries and so many other issues, causing her to weep.  It's time for a rescue. Put on your cape and help save her."  Rev. JacquiP

The Beauty of A Soul

Today I experienced the beauty of my soul.

I grew up as most Christians with the belief that my soul is not worthy and is need of saving. Sitting on the pulpit on a Sunday morning, with songs of praise echoing throughout the sanctuary, I sat in wonder about my journey in ministry. My journey is leading me to a path of self discovery and I must admit that I am a little frighten of what my soul is aching to push out. I am finding that I no longer relate to a Christian thought or belief that Christianity’s main function is only to save souls for heaven, where we will all suffer no more. This thought has allowed a selfish agenda that patterns capitalistic thinking, rewarded with getting that big mansion in the sky. In this thought we have missed human relationships and connections with each other. So busy trying to change each other that we have not seen the beauty of the soul in our path. We have missed opportunities to free a world from abuse and hatred. We have missed opportunities to love. We have missed opportunities to be a better nation, all because we have deemed that somewhere we must get people in a “right” relationship with God when we have not been in “right” relationships with each other.

This change happening within my being and soul frightens me. I must admit that I am struggling to join in with Christians who preach a Gospel that is not of love but instead of one that seeks opportunities to preach that we are all sinful and unworthy. Don’t get me wrong, of course there is evil, white supremacy, sinful systems that deny people their fundamental rights, these are the things we must preach against. These are the things that must be eradicated. Yes, this change happening within my being and soul frightens me, but oh so much of it is also beautiful and freeing. Of course, I am only sharing my new discovery on my journey in this space, because I feel safe to do so.

I wonder have any of you experience the beauty of your soul yet? Is there something about your faith that has led you to a place of enlightenment that steers you to know there is more than waiting to get to a heavenly place, and that God uses us to bring heavenly places here on earth? I believe in God. I believe that Jesus shows us and has provided examples to us how to love each other. There is a change that is happening within my being and soul and I am embracing it. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who loves myself and my neighbors. I am a Christian who stands for the rights of others, that be a woman right to choose, a right to marry who you love. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who believes that everyone should have housing. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who believes that there must be equal pay for all and $15 as minimum pay is not even enough. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who takes care of the environment because God trusted us enough to do so. I am a Christian and I believe your soul is beautiful.

Be Well My Friends,

Rev. JacquiP

In Our Muddy Pits

Based on Psalm 40:1-5a

In our muddy pits, we will continue to walk heavy through the slush of hatred, racism, sexism, homophobia, classism and all that causes harm to the Other.

In our muddy pits, we will continue to keep our eyes and minds open with creative spirits that will build a better place where all are well and free.

In our muddy pits, we will continue to share stories of our woes and victories so that someone who has lost their way, their being, their purpose, will be healed by the stories they hear.

In our muddy pits, slimy and slippery as it may be, we will keep our hands connected to each other, so that any falls we experience might be gentle.

In our muddy pits, we will call out every injustice in the land, speaking in different tongues, but with unified voices, from every nation, as those described unity in the Book of Acts.

In our muddy pits, dirty, tired, weary, but strong with a God who is with us in these muddy pits, we will drudge on. And when we rise from these muddy pits, we shall remember the dirt that stuck to our hands, the clumps of clay that hardened our thighs, the debris that fell into our mouths and flowed through our bodies, we shall then know that we are bonded together and only together we will rise from these muddy pits.

In the Name of Our Creator, In the Name of Jesus, In the Name of All Tribes Gathered!

May it be so! Amen!
Be Well My Friends!
Rev. JacquiP

i just want to breathe.

I am finding my way. After trying to be what the church told me I needed to be, to be good, to go to church every Sunday, to be a lady and not use foul language, to hide my cleavage with a safety pin, to believe that God will provide all I need and desire, because I’m saved; after trying to figure out so much of what could be wrong with me while trying to figure out what should be right with me, I’ve come to the conclusion that I all I want to do is breathe. That’s all I want to do!

Friend, don’t be so hard on yourself. Be kind to you and to others, love yourself and others.

That’s it.

Rev. JacquiP

A More Beautiful America

Queering the American Dream is a memoir of resilience, hope and the dare to live in the moments of joy and grief. Angela Yarber shares subversive, revolutionary women and goddesses as she journeys through the bravery of camping in strange and beautiful places, letting go of past hurts of microaggressions delivered by Christian church folk while facing difficulties of experiencing family trauma and addiction. Queering the American Dream shows us that it is quite okay to do things differently, to think differently, to live differently, to create a world that is different from the status quo, to create a kind of America that does not always look like a two car garage with a white picket fence, a mom and dad and two children, a male and female, but instead a tiny house with a mama and mommy and children who get to decide their pronouns for themselves. Queering the American Dream gives permission to dream a reality that is creative and liberating. Angela Yarber pours her dreams into reality making it possible for all to see that queering America, perhaps, is exactly what is needed to make this country a more loving and kind place. I highly recommend reading this touching memoir, Queering the American Dream.

Be Well My Friends,

Rev. JacquiP