Author: Rev. JacquiP

Hello! Welcome to my personal blog. I write to express love, acceptance with inviting readers to see God in their spaces and hopefully see the image of God in themselves. I am an ordained minister in the Methodist tradition. I was ordained in 2009 and have served a various churches as an assistant and youth pastor. I am mother to a terrific young woman who I admire for her boldness with sticking with her passion of film making. I am a wife of a guy who loves and fight for social and economic justice all God's people. I started this blog when I was 58 years old. My mother had just died, I retired from a job, not career, of over 37 years and moved to a new strange location. I didn't know what to do or how to be next. This soft sweet voice in my head says, why not just be yourself, authentic and unapologetic. I've been scared most of my life to live freely because of what others thought and even how the church told me I was suppose to be. But I don't ever want to be what others expect me to be, I want to be what God gifted inside of me. So with that, I open myself up to all of you. This is who I am. Thank you for dropping in! Rev. Jacqueline Pinkney

A Good Friend

I am constantly trying to better myself. This gets really frustrating and quite honestly, I am really tired of trying to do all of the hoopla around self-care. Ok, yes I need to take care of all of me, I get that! Lately self-care has become a chore. Am I using the healthy powder I pour in my smoothie correctly? In my downward dog position, is my feet suppose to be flat on the floor? Because that won’t happen! Am I breathing in on the count of 2 and breathing out of the count of 10? Is my smartwatch keeping adequate data on my sleeping patterns? Because according to this, my sleeping patterns are not so great. Now, something else to worry about!

Should self-care really be this hard?!! I’m pretty sure I am not suppose to be figuring out if I am loving myself enough to the point of loving myself enough where it is getting a little chaotic? It’s like having an obsessive relationship with a person who laughs at your jokes, but is with a person you wish you could be, so you desperately find yourself putting on airs to get their attention and they just treat you like a good friend. (sigh)

Maybe that’s just it. Just be a good friend to yourself, one that is true and honest and accepts every flaw, and every decision that did not go well. A good friend is always there to share in disappointments and glory. Now about that three day retreat I can’t afford…hmmm?

Be Well My Friends!

Rev. JacquiP

Here I Am

I have been so busy working in my doctor of ministry program and now the new pastor of a small historic church! Yes, it is quite a lot of work, but I love it! I haven’t blogged for a long time, so here I am, trying to get back into the swing of things. Not sure even where to begin, but here I am. I must say, when we put out in the universe our dreams and hopes, and believe that we are worthy of receiving the very things we ask for, abundance pours from every direction.

The amazing Sheryl Lee Ralph, reminded me of so many wonderful blessings as I listened to her acceptance speech, winning the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy in television series, “Abbott Elementary. Ms. Ralph reminded all of us who find ourselves an “endangered species” that our voice matters and that we are not to sing a victim song. We belong! I cried last night, listening to her acceptance speech, thinking about all that I have hoped and work for, now coming into fruition.

Here I am! Beautiful, courageous and ageless. Here I am! Intelligent, compassionate and witty. Here I am! And I am good! Never give up! Know matter if you had a set back, no matter where you are in your life or what age you are in your life, never give up! Work on your gift, your purpose, because it is not for you! It is for others to see that they can, along with you, make this planet a better place to live!

Be Well My Friends!!

Rev. Jacqui Pinkney

The Strength of Our Gathering

Before us. There were those who came before us. They walked in the places we now call “our community.”

They created homes from the depths of their hearts and planted gardens in the depths of the earth that held the soles of their feet.

Their arms were strong. Holding their children, holding their dreams. And their voices were holy to the sounds of a child.

When Women gather, there is a breath, a sound like no other. Listen! It is like a roaring wind that cuddles and whispers, “no need to worry”. Everything will be alright.

Before us. There were those who came before us. They built bridges that connected laughter and joy, peace and hope. And compassion followed wherever they went.

They sang songs and danced. Singing soft, singing loud, whirling! Their spirits are lifted by the Spirit that is Holy.

Their ears were tuned to hearing cries of hopelessness and despair. They followed these sounds, and spread their arms wide, offering comfort, offering a way to wholeness.

When Women gather, there is a passion of protection that holds creation in her hands. She covers the weary and prays strength for the weak.

Before us. There were those who came before us. Creating paths for us to follow. Sharing their stories of joy and pain, touching future lives, that those who gather today, will do the same.

May it be so.

Rev. JacquiP

This Feminine Divine Is Determined!

You keep showing up, pushing and pushing me!

What do you want? What? I can’t do that!

Are you serious? You seriously want me to change the world! So what kool-aid have you been drinking?

What do you want me to do with a world that has become so old that all she wants to do is sit in her rocking chair and complain about every freaking thing?! What? You’re really funny!

What do you want me to say to a world that has spin so much of her axle on the wheels of a patriarchy and white supremacist ideologies, that would make you think that she can change? They have held her hostage since the beginning of creation! Ok, maybe not at the beginning, but you got to admit, they have held her for a pretty long time!

Hey, I’m just trying to get along so I can be left alone in this place! What?

What do you mean I can create?! Create what? There is chaos and destruction, the environment is dying and I’m sleepy, so I don’t understand what you want!!

You want me to breathe? But I am, despite all the fumes, I’m breathing quite well, thank you! What am I breathing? Are you saying my breath stinks?! I don’t have toxic breath!

Am I breathing hope and possibilities of a place I can be proud of? A place for all of her children?

You keep nudging me to produce something better and more loving towards her. She does need a revolutionary kind of power that only we can bring. Okay! You got me!

Now where is my cape?

"She is calling us in this time of women's rights being taken away, climate change having a major impact, banning books from classrooms and libraries and so many other issues, causing her to weep.  It's time for a rescue. Put on your cape and help save her."  Rev. JacquiP

Hey You! Yeah! You!

Hello! Just for a moment. I know the chaos of the world is on your shoulder. I know you are wondering what happens next, thinking silently or screaming into your pillow, “Can I move forward?” “Does my dream still have a chance?” “Will tomorrow be any different?”

Yes! You are more powerful and capable than you imagine. You rode the waves through storms that you thought would take you out! Look at you! Wanting to pull the bed cover over your head, you still get up and you make your way, sometimes with a little spark and sometime with a gigantic spark, but you make your way. Yes! Tomorrow will be different, because you are determined to keeping moving, in spite of what this crazy world looks like. Whew!! You are one badass!

Now go show them what you got! Be Blessed My Friends!

Rev. JacquiP

Thank You!

Thank you! This is what I and my husband pray to God before going to sleep every night. It is a simple prayer, a reminder to us to be grateful for even the smallest of things. Our world today is up side down and often there are little reasons to see things to be appreciative of. I get it! But I also know, and yes, there’s that word, “but”…… I have the opportunity on any given day that is presented to me to be a positive force in this world. On any given day, I can raise my voice to call out hate. On any given day, I can write a letter to representatives to call out senseless gun violence. On any given day, I can choose to love my neighbor as myself. On any given day, I can choose to make a difference to build a better world. For that, we say “thank you”.

Today, say a simple prayer of “thank you”, to your Creator. Now go and bring peace to a place that so desperately needs it. They are waiting on you!

Be Bless My Friends,

Rev. JacquiP

Sound

What do you hear when your windows are up and there is a slight breeze coming through? Do you hear your neighbors gossip as they sit on their porches? Do you hear the cars from a nearby busy street? Do you hear children playing and laughing as they jump in a bouncy house placed for a birthday celebration? Do you hear the birds chirping? Do hear the dog barking at the squirrels running up and down the tree? Do you hear the video reels in the background of old Sopranos clips being played because someone in your household can’t let go? Do you hear your heart beat? Do you hear your breath? Do you hear space full with vibration that is safe? Do you hear life happening around you that is pleasant and assuring, with no thought of hearing sounds that destroy and murder? Do you hear the future of living in a world where gun violence in not the norm?

Do you hear children playing and laughing……? Do you hear?

Embrace

I have shoes, a lot of shoes! I cleaned out my closet, trying to get rid of clothes and shoes I can no longer wear. I had a problem letting go of the shoes I couldn’t get my swollen feet into. I have shoes that are over 10 years old, never worn, hoping for some crazy reason, that on a good day, my feet and ankles will appear slim and slide into the shoes like Cinderella putting on her glass slippers. I tried again today knowing that my ankles looked like a round can and the fat on my feet creeping to cover my toes. I don’t do well in the summer heat! Finally trying on the shoes multiple times, I let three pairs go, but still held on to the other two pairs. Hey! Don’t judge me! It could happened! Is there a lesson to this? Well, of course!

As I age gracefully, there are some things my body will not do anymore. My bald spot in the top of my thin hair will not grow. My breast will never ever lift again and stand at attention. My hips will look like dimples dent created by cellulite and my feet will require that I find the most comfortable pair of shoes, so that I won’t wobble as I walk.

Embrace all of it. Embrace that you are still alive to experience the image of looking in a mirror and seeing the wrinkles in your forehead, trying on again a dress that you wore at your friend’s wedding twenty years ago and being disappointed that your waist has gone sideways, and appreciating that you still have many good memories that keep you grounded in a chaotic world, imagining that it is still possible to wear those shoes you still keep in the box, collecting dusk. One day. One day. Maybe? It doesn’t matter! Just keep the damn shoes!

Be Bless My Friends,

Rev. JacquiP

The Beauty of A Soul

Today I experienced the beauty of my soul.

I grew up as most Christians with the belief that my soul is not worthy and is need of saving. Sitting on the pulpit on a Sunday morning, with songs of praise echoing throughout the sanctuary, I sat in wonder about my journey in ministry. My journey is leading me to a path of self discovery and I must admit that I am a little frighten of what my soul is aching to push out. I am finding that I no longer relate to a Christian thought or belief that Christianity’s main function is only to save souls for heaven, where we will all suffer no more. This thought has allowed a selfish agenda that patterns capitalistic thinking, rewarded with getting that big mansion in the sky. In this thought we have missed human relationships and connections with each other. So busy trying to change each other that we have not seen the beauty of the soul in our path. We have missed opportunities to free a world from abuse and hatred. We have missed opportunities to love. We have missed opportunities to be a better nation, all because we have deemed that somewhere we must get people in a “right” relationship with God when we have not been in “right” relationships with each other.

This change happening within my being and soul frightens me. I must admit that I am struggling to join in with Christians who preach a Gospel that is not of love but instead of one that seeks opportunities to preach that we are all sinful and unworthy. Don’t get me wrong, of course there is evil, white supremacy, sinful systems that deny people their fundamental rights, these are the things we must preach against. These are the things that must be eradicated. Yes, this change happening within my being and soul frightens me, but oh so much of it is also beautiful and freeing. Of course, I am only sharing my new discovery on my journey in this space, because I feel safe to do so.

I wonder have any of you experience the beauty of your soul yet? Is there something about your faith that has led you to a place of enlightenment that steers you to know there is more than waiting to get to a heavenly place, and that God uses us to bring heavenly places here on earth? I believe in God. I believe that Jesus shows us and has provided examples to us how to love each other. There is a change that is happening within my being and soul and I am embracing it. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who loves myself and my neighbors. I am a Christian who stands for the rights of others, that be a woman right to choose, a right to marry who you love. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who believes that everyone should have housing. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who believes that there must be equal pay for all and $15 as minimum pay is not even enough. I am a Christian. I am a Christian who takes care of the environment because God trusted us enough to do so. I am a Christian and I believe your soul is beautiful.

Be Well My Friends,

Rev. JacquiP

The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd

Sophia (Wisdom) offering The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

The Dance of the Dissident Daughter A Woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine is bold and pleasantly frightening. Sue Monk Kidd questioning her spiritual journey and wondering if her Christian faith actually recognizes her womanhood and speaks to her directly, is a question I believe many women have asked, including myself, and what is so surprising is this memoir written over 25 years ago, is still very relevant today. Sue Kid Monk’s tenacity to deal with the question is one of bravery and begins the process to heal what she calls, “feminine wounds.”

In all honesty, reading this book was difficult because it tugged in those neglected spaces women usually just settle for, and at the same time, there is liberation taking place. Kidd gently forces women to truly focus on what roles they play in their faith journey and reminds us not to just accept the status quo as is, but that it is quite alright to search for a place that includes you and includes your worth. This book is for women who are ready to heal wounds caused by a Christian faith tradition that has stifled the voices of the feminine sacred divine. This book is for women who are searching for a rebirth in becoming who their authentic, beautiful and holy selves truly are.

There is a warning though that comes when you begin to open your mind to the The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Don’t be surprised as you read Kidd’s memoir, that you soon remember a moment when listening to a sermon you didn’t agree with and secretly screamed out loud but kept the facade of a smile on your face to show your loyalty, or when participating in a women’s conference that somehow managed to include Adam’s rib into their description of women, and yet you kept that silly grin on your face, that you as well have participated in patriarch oppressive systems. You will come to the realization that you too might be ready to start a faith journey you can claim your own, but be further warned, with that comes labor pains that may take longer than expected, but the stretch marks will soon tell the story of a journey worth taking.

Be Well My Friends,

Rev. JacquiP